If you would have asked me ten years ago if I would be blogging about religion, I would have laughed. I was raised a Missouri Synod Lutheran. My family was only tangentially involved with the church. My dad is agnostic at best on a good day and somewhere just left of Bill Maher on a bad one. My mom raised us to be silent and not heard in church, and until recently the idea of standing in front of congregation–let alone publicly disagreeing with the clergy–would have been the quickest way for me to faint and/or vomit.

When I was a kid, I realized that the Missouri Synod wasn’t for me. When I was about eleven, I remember sitting quietly and trying not to fight with my younger brother during a sermon that a guest pastor was giving. What started as a sermon on morality quickly turned into an anti-choice tirade where women were nothing more than whores. I can still remember my mother standing up during the middle of the sermon, and with a not-so quiet proclamation, said, “Come on kids, we are leaving!” I can still feel every eye in the church boring down on my back as she marched us out.  I didn’t really understand what my mother was standing up for at the time, but looking back, it has forged my views on women’s rights as well as religion. Women couldn’t vote in the LCMS until some time in the mid-eighties when I was in middle school. Their roles are still diminished to this day. Women cannot preach from the pulpit, and the older I have grown, the more that has bothered me.

By the time I had graduated from Valparaiso University in the early Nineties, I was Lutheran in name alone. I could not stomach being a member of a religion where women were second class citizens.

Jump ahead more than ten years, I was a wife and physician with a baby on the way. My parents had already made the leap to the ELCA. It was an organization that also resonated with me. It was progressive. It embraced women equally. It valued social justice,not just proselytizing. (I’ll be the first to admit I have a lot of problems with forcing religion on anyone, especially at the expense of others’ heritage and culture, but that post is for another day.) It was something I wanted my daughters to experience.

The 2009 Churchwide Assembly is something that has received a lot of attention both within the ELCA and from those who revel in the angst it has created for some. For me I was thrilled to embrace a policy that broke down the barriers of discrimination. I was thrilled to be part of a church that welcomed all regardless of race, gender, nor sexual identity. Of course not everyone was thrilled about it, my pastors included.

It didn’t take long before the half-truths and psuedoscience started getting flung around left and right. The synod would force us to call a gay pastors, those gays would molest everyone in Sunday school, being gay is a choice and can be cured with enough prayer and counseling (and self-loathing.)

That was only the beginning. The same-sex issue was just the tip of the iceberg. Our pastors wanted out and starting throwing anything against the wall to see what would stick. Suddenly everything was wrong with the ELCA. The ELCA doesn’t do this, The ELCA doesn’t do that. It’s not good enough. It’s too liberal. It’s unchurched. It’s amoral. There’s too much hierarchy. It’s theologians know nothing about the Bible. It doesn’t teach the bible.

In December we had the first of two votes to leave the ELCA. Like other congregations, the proposal had to pass by a 2/3 majority in order to move forward to a second vote. Needless to say, the first vote passed by about 10 votes and my congregation will be voting a second time on April 11. Since then those of us who have wanted to remain with the ELCA have been vilified, our voices silenced, our information suppressed. It’s hard to have your voice heard when you don’t have the pulpit.

So this is why I have started this blog. My posts won’t be as general as this one. But I want to journal the path that I and fellow congregants are experiencing. Whether we sway the vote and try move toward healing or if we are starting from the ground up. I want our story to be heard.

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